SOMEWHERE a snake gorges itself on a salamander

Happy Thursday my friends.

I was gonna write earlier but I was waiting to see if I got into Clarion AND

I did not. My third rejection. I am not even mad, as they say. Like a charicature of an anime samurai, I was prepared for anything. I really did want to get into an intensive writing environment, but for six weeks off work and no guarantee that the $5000 tuition would be covered by scholarships? Well I was gonna figure the $$$ out. I had a teacher in college freshman year who stopped me short one time and was like look, just apply first. See if you even get in. Then worry about the money, that'll come. So that's how I felt about if I got into Clarion.

The comedy of errors style amusement behind waiting for my answer was that they were a whole TEN DAYS late in informing a majority of the applicants, and I was on twitter searching shit like "clarion workshop" and "rejection from clarion", stumbling upon threads of indignant and wretched souls who ALSO applied and were wholly (and rightfully) annoyed that they had to email back and forth multiple times just to confirm their app was rejected. Apparently there was an email server issue... ::looks at camera, then shrugs and looks away::

As time went on during all this I kept trying to picture myself once again in an academic style environment. I pictured going out to dinner to celebrate my acceptance. I pictured myself amidst potentially extremely irksome classmates, ignorant of their class and racial statuses. I came across quite a lot of white trans applicants during my twitter searching, and one who had prematurely announced they ~had~ gotten in and were fundraising to go. And I thought to myself oop they already got their trans quota in so I don't think it'll be me this year. I ~also~ found out that this person had paid a professional editor to workshop the stories they submitted for the application. I was like bitch lol wow it never ends. This reminds me of when my classmates in high school were getting college scholarship prizes and I was sitting around still asking how come nobody tested me for the mentally gifted program?

Last night Cutty and I hung out and got Wendy's after work, then went back to their place and played some Mortal Kombat (FIFTEEN!!) (you can play as Predator or an Alien now it ruluuuulesessess), and after our hands were hurting we switched to me watching her play this SPOOKY ASS game that's set in some kinda giant haunted victorian house. We started wondering how victorian's sounded back in the day and after some youtube searching I came across this video, where the guy was explaining how the old timey hollywood, slightly proper English sounding accent was deliberately taught to upper classes to distinguish them from the lower classes.

sooooo there's that.

there's also this PBS documentary airing this week, Reconstruction: America After Civil War that's good as hell and making lots of direct links to current white supremacist American bullshit straight from back then. i only caught episode 2 the other night, but they're all on pbs's website too.

in other events, a metropolarity group text went in deep on the news that a former philly poet laureate outed himself as once, for two years in his youth, being a white supremacist & in a white power band~~ but this facebook shocker was announced in advance of another person doxxing him, and then apparently he deleted the thread. i just have to say, if dude was reformed and apologetic and ashamed of this ugly association AND was a poet, like what the fuck was his poetry about then???? apparently he hid it all these years from even his best friends, and that is WACK. it prompted me to go on twitter and write a tiny outburst:

"White people need to understand that 'being white' is a familial curse that must be undone"

followed by

"And fwiw I don't think having white babies and teaching them 'better' is any part of that work"

and finally

"And duh I say this as someone who is white mixed. Idk if I ever said this shit here but I stopped adding all the extra identity labels to my complicated self bc my whiteness first n foremost must be addressed"

This brings me ever closer to a zine i've been plotting to make for a longass time, about whiteness and white mixedness, and related shit you usually catch me talking about from time to time.

Real quick, here's a shout out to seemingly every Aries in my life whose birthday celebrations took place within the last ten or so days. This past weekend I went to two fun and joyful birthday parties, ate delcious food and tamales and cake, and then on Sunday in New York went and saw Cherríe Moraga give a talk at People's Forum for her new book about her mother, The Native Country of the Heart. I was weeping in that jawn, what the fuck. Powerful words were spoken. I don't feel like going into it here, but wow go see your fave authors talk, your will not regret it.

Anyway...

I'll be vending Desire Hope Despair gear and all of mine & METROPOLARITY's wares at the Philly leg of the Hot Bits queer xxx film fest, April 26 & 27. The long-in-the-making VENUS SATURN SQUARE smut zine will be there! New stickers too! I'll promo, you'll hear more about it.

Penn Book Center, one of the finest city bookstores with the most misleading name (i'd only been in there for the first time three weeks ago), announced that it's closing at the end of May. Fuckshit. =( Alex from the crew informed me that he booked a reading there, so expect us.

Expect us on April 25 for Alex's reading & release party for ARKDUST, at Square One Coffee, 7pm or some similar time.

I'm also planning a birthday (start of June) reading with JUST ME on the line-up, telling tales for all who care to hear. Storytime, my lads.

Oh yeah, and there's this fun free magazine jawn, Philadelphia Packaging Company, that my @serviceappreciation IG account is centerfold in. It's at all these random shops downtown, so hit them up to find a copy.

Phew ok i been writing this whole thing while at work. Gotta jet!!

LUV YAAAAAAAA

@}-}-;-------
Monk