UPDATE - Accidents, revisions, and Mercury...

i got knocked down but i'm getting up again

Greetings, I hope this missive finds you in a most satisfying situation of your heart's desire. And if not, well. Hang in there.

I posted my little REVIVAL message several weeks ago at this point, when not long after I got into an accident on my bicycle riding home from work one night, on one of those hot 85 degree nights we got earlier in April (collided into from behind by a motor bike dude attempting to pass on the wrong side with no lights on). My computer got totaled and my body took a hit, and well I'm gonna be okay after I get through this susto, but lordy if I didn't have to completely pause what I was planning to execute...

AI news is wilding. Fascist anti-trans legislating is tripping me out emotionally. I can't log in to my Twitter account because Musk removed 2 factor authentification. And I'm still mulling over dozens and dozens of old tumblr posts trying to sort of which ones should go in a print zine I'm working on.

I have a computer again and I'm finding loads of drafts all over the place. I want to share them. I will. I was on the precipice of formally announcing my refreshed website when the accident happened. I mean, my website is updated in theme alone, but all what's there has yet to be zhuzhed. I told myself thank GOD I didn't do my recording day and then lost all that data... that woulda stressed me ouuuuut to lose voice work.

This Mercury Rx is in Taurus, which is my natal placement, and this one has been laughably extreme for me. I am not pushing myself to overcome ANY of my technical/comms/Mercurial challenges at this time. The accident put me in and pulled up allll this grief in my body. I have not been feeling "good" or well and I find it hard to eat although I get so hungry...

I wanted to log in to twitter to announce I am contemplating another iteration of the Mercury Monastery writing intensive.

I have been contemplating the role of anger and angst in my work. I had thought for a while that this anger of mine is too corrosive... I dropped that audio episode picking at the threads of martial/Martian inclinations... Here I'm fading... I need to put down this machine and go eat.

But I have been thinking I need to lean into my lamentations, that perhaps I have been needlessly scared of underworld expressions. More than a couple tarot readings have had me signified by the 3 of Swords, suggesting that the pain of that heart pierced by three swords is my skill, my gift, what I am here to wield.

Martial, pain, bleeding out, heavy with steel swords...

There is still a heart there.

I guess

I'm saying

follow me into the underworld...

--

more this May

@}-}-;--------
Monk

(and lovingly, more to myself)

[image: a laughing smiley w/mimetic text top bar says “YOU ARE TOO INVESTED IN THE WIDER SPECTACLE” bottom bar says “TO ACT ON YOUR DESIRE !”]